


Charming the Ogre

by LorraineDessiner



Category: IT Crowd, Shrek (Movies), Shrek The Musical - Tesori/Lindsay-Abaire, Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, Spy Kids (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Mentioned Shrek (Shrek), Musicals, True Love, biggay, enemiestolovers, lovaatfirstsight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 04:28:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20270014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LorraineDessiner/pseuds/LorraineDessiner
Summary: When Prince Charming realizezs thatb princess fiona is dead, and has been replaced by a wolf, he fears he may never love again. But when a chance encounter at the theatre leaves him questioning his sexuality, he discovers that true love is just a tear drop away.





	Charming the Ogre

**Author's Note:**

> Wht's up amigos im back. This is my first time writing smut, hope you like it, i have shipped these fellas for a loooooong time. Enjoy owo :)

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far far far far far far far far away far far away Prance Chorming caused a sonic boom via his noble steed; Sonic the Hedjehog, as he zoomed at hyperspeed to the shed were Fioba lay and wait to be rexscued. When he arrived, sprawled out on Fioba’s bunk bed, was his Brandbother…or so he thought.  
“Grandma? Wat are yoo doing here?” pleaded Chomping tragically.  
“Bitch, I aint yo grandma” concluded the wolf, cosplaying as Chomping’s grandma.  
“k.”  
Meanwhile, Fiona and Shrek attend the feeatre for a work outing, to see the new hit moosical ‘Gay- the gay musical.’  
“Willies willies, I like willies” grunted Shrek, Scottishly.  
“That song’s just finished” begged Fiona.  
“WAT SONJ?”   
Fiona looked into the camera like she was on the office and cried.  
Prince Chomping bursts into the disabled toilets, and steales a poor irish man’s wheelchair.  
Prince Chomping wheels into the theatre tragically and eyes Fiona and Shrek hungrily.  
“Look, that’s Laura Knightly” Prince chomping pondered, “she’s from the telly.”  
“DoNkEy!” said Donkey.  
Chomping whipped out his sword and creepy creepered up behind the couple, when suddenly……………;;.;..;k”!”!”!”e ..m?.,/.,/.lk@@@@  
Shrek turned around angelically, his green ears flowing in the Scottish wind, the sunlight reflecting from his big polished, verridian head, blinding Chomping with love.   
(insert description of shreks ugly eyes here)  
“DONKAAYYY” Shrek ejaculated, “WAT ARE YOO DOOIN ERE YA D*FT C*NT”   
“Ah, despacito” observed Pussy boots, aka Antonio Banderes, aka greasy herv from spy kids.  
About three things Chomping was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there wasa part of him-and he didn’t know how potent that part might be- that thirsted for my blood. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Shrek.  
Suddenly, The Farty Godmother™, riding Karl, vajazzled her way into the theatre, wearing her iconic vajazzled red dress, waving her magic wand, singing I need a hero as per.  
“MuMmY?” sneezed Chomping tragically, “leave me a long I’m on a date!”  
“Wait …… ……,. Your’e on a date?” cried Shrek scottishly.  
“I can be if you want me to be” winked Chomping tragically.  
Fioba looked into the camera again, like she was on the office, again, and cried…again.  
Shrek’s cheeks blushed a deep shade of emerald, and in response Chomping smirked smirkishly.  
“No! You must not, I am homophobic, hit hiM KARL!” mused the Fairy crackhead.  
Pussy boots thrust his ginger body toward the farty godmother and game ended her, instantly.  
Karl died of sadness.  
Chomping grabbed shrek’s ogre, big, massive ogre hands and threw hium onto sonic the slave hedgehog, who was waiting patiently beside him.  
Shrek yelled back at Fioba, “SORRAY NANCAY, A THOT WE WUD WERK COZ YOO LOOK A WEE BIT LIKE A FELLA.”  
Fioba looked into the camera again, like she was on the office, again, and died instantly.  
“LETS GOO BAC TO MA SWOMP” groaned shrok.  
“No.” Chomping sighed tragically “let’s go back to us swamp.”  
And they wheeled away into the sunset together, leaving Donkey amd Pussy boots to deal with the police and fend for themselves.  
The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry guys, another installment will be uploaded soon.


End file.
